Aldo has a problem. It made itself known in Macclesfield library back in 1991. He was walking past an old man but he couldn’t seem to get past him. Aldo swayed to right and left and tried every which way to get past, but everything he did made me nearly fall into him.
He had discovered that he was a ditherer.
The man made a loud tutting (*Tsk*) noise and pushed past. Aldo’s dad, who had witnessed the scene, shouted with paternal rage: “Don’t you dare tut at my son!”
Cut to 2010 and Aldo still does the Dance. It can happen at any time and anywhere where people have to walk past each other. His girlf (Suzie) hates it. She can sense in advance when it’s going to happen and barks at Aldo “Choose a side!” as the victim comes into view.
But Aldo often changes his mind at the last minute, and straddles the path in confusion. He thinks “Surely it’d be better on that side, I can make it through that gap”. It becomes an Indiana Jones type situation, where he is rapidly running out of time to make his getaway. Past someone walking calmly towards him.
Although he is too big now to get the Tsk treatment, I’m sure that angry noise is echoing round the heads of the poor person trying to get past with their shopping, as he whirls like a drunken dervish.
He really is a loon.