In the last 2 days I have witnessed male anger from unexpected sources, manifested on or at the number 88 bus.
Yesterday, I was waiting at the busstop outside Republic (with window displays to slit your wrists to). An 82 came along. Then an 88. I didn’t want to rub shins with ruffians (the curse of long legs on buses built by midgets), so I opted for the 82.
A sweet old grandad type was at the front of the queue for the 88. The bus driver seemed to not want to open the door.
“OPEN THE FUCKING DOORS YOU PRICK!” he yelled, his surprisingly loud voice echoing down the street.
Thank God I chose this bus, I thought. Even the innocent are corrupted on Stagecoach.
Today, I had to brave an 82 packed with schoolkids on their way to freedom. I had to stand next to a jolly rasta who kept me entertained by singing a medley of reggae hits with little or no tune to get in the way of my enjoyment. After some of the kids had got off, he took his massive beanied head and went and found a seat near the back. Bear in mind that they are sat at opposite ends of the bus.
“Bus stops at Arundel Gate” called the driver in his calm FYI voice.
“YA FUCKIN WHAT MAN??!!!” tuneless rasta bellows
“The bus stops on Arundel Gate”
“WATDAFUCK MAN? IT SAID ECCLESFIELD ON DA FRONT MAN! YOU GOIN ECCLESFIELD MON!”
“No, just to Arundel Gate. It says that on the front”
“WATDAFUCKMON?? IT SAID ECCLESFIELD ALRIGHT?! YOU JUST HAVE CHANGED IT MAN COZ I GOT IN IT AND IT SAID ECCLESFIELD AND I IS GOING TO ECCLESFIELD MAN”
“No, we stop at Arundel Gate”
“SHUT YA FUCKIN FACE MAN! SHUT YA BUM (!!)”
“you should look at what it says before you get on”
“DON’T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, JUST FUCKIN DRIVE MAN, YOU’RE A BAD DRIVER AND I DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT YOU SAY!”
“I’m just telling you that this bus is not going to Ecclesfield…” etc etc ad nauseum
An old lady pushed her way to the front. ‘Shouting like that, it’s disgusting!” she mumbled
“Shut ya face woman get back to——(couldn’t hear this bit despite straining but it was rather discouraging)”
So let’s hear it for Sheffield Buses- the last rampart of neanderthal man…here’s an informative slideshow of Sheffield buses with a tasteful soundtrack of Ellie ‘flash in the pan’ Goulding: