Clit Lit Bit My Tits


Last night, I dreamed that Esther left the room and I quickly turned over the TV to a porn channel. It was some ‘lesbian’ sex (where 2 straight women pretend to do what men imagine gay women do). They sat facing each other, and slowly out of their shaved bits came a strange, elongated clitoris.
It looked rather like the ‘foot’ that mussels have:

"Ooh baby"

It was also like when you squeeze a blackhead, and the puss spirals out and out of your pore without ending or breaking.

As I watched, it felt its way around, and then began to nuzzle the flaps of the other woman, like a miniature leech or parasite, looking for a way in.

It wasn’t sexy. It was more like a nature programme. It was wild. In ‘The Kids are Alright’, the mums get caught watching gay porn because they can tell that the women in ‘lesbian’ porn are straight, and it’s a turn-off. And because cocks are ‘external’ so you know when men are actually aroused.

In my dream, the clitoris had turned into a mini-penis. And their vaginas looked more like seafood.

"wet and wild"

Because the clit is so small, I think the cock stands in for the arousal of both men and women: if a big donkey-dick gets long and hard and goes in and out of the seafood, they must both be having pleasure (we think). But 2 women together- all they can do is ram their bits together surely, where is the pleasure in that huh? We can’t imagine non-penetrative pleasure.

(And men are incapable of telling a faked orgasm. Am Dram starts in the bedroom…)

2 days ago, I dreamed that Catherine from CSI was made up of 2 parts:

"Dang it, my lower part as gone and dropped off again"

A torso and legs. She could lift her top part off, and only then were her genitals visible. They looked like a wound on her soft stump. And then, to stop me from looking, she put her top half on again.

Porn has traumatised me. I never wanted to see so much and so graphically what is best left to the imagination. Our privates are designed for function, not form, but porno insists on ultra close ups of sweating holes as if the closer the camera gets, the more it turns us on. I don’t want to disappear up a japs eye/uterus. I don’t even want to see the ins and outs. I want, if anything, to be seduced by haf visible curves, to fall in love with a body bit by bit. I want to LIVE this song:

Faces I Want to Slap


Saturday, saturday, what a day. Not.

Still no call from Kristen. I will have to call out the repairmen, there must be a fault with the line stopping her from getting through.

While I wait, I compose a list of people whose faces are so annoying I want to slap them resoundingly. The bigger the picture, the more slappable the face:

Peter Beale. I wonder if his hair would even move?

"Horatio from CSI Miami. He might actually express some emotion if he is bitch slapped"

 

"Thinking about it, the whole rubber faced cast gets on my wick"

"I'd get them in a double-twonk"

"Shut the fuck up"

"Ellen Page even slaps her own face it's so annoying"

“Precocious, Moi?”

"Need someone to play God?"

DEFINITELY to be continued!!

 

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