I like to think that I have an open mind. I like to think that I can understand most people and their odd ways. But I am starting to doubt this. Mainly because WordPress can tell me the search terms that people Googled to reach my blog.
I’m starting to get quite scared. First of all there are the perverted ones. Granted, some of my entries have a sexual theme. But really?
Some people know exactly what they want:
no clothes katy perrys bum in a shower
penis in the emporer’s new clothes
constipated push hard ejaculate
saggy tit sex
and the evocative
doctor “finger up my”
Christmas is fast approaching. For those people who have everything, here’s some tips:
rastafarian clothes for dogs
or perhaps a “masturbation chair” and some “masturbation mutual books” for the full experience of “mutual mastrubation in our bed room”
and lest us not forget a fresh supply of
Then there are more personal cries from the heart. This ‘beautiful’ poem brought some freak here:
me & your mom never dreamed you’d be so beautiful…in all of the times we tried to imagine every last detail of who you would be,thru all of the nights we spent quietly thinkingof how we would feelwhen we first looked at you,we patiently waitedand silently wondered.we hoped and we prayedand we tried to imagine…but we never dreamed you’d be beautiful.
Probably the same person who demanded of Mr Internet
“i feel poorly who gonna cheer me up”
and “box don’t lock”
and the touching appeals for:
fat bastard prosthetic
emaciated old man
very fat chav woman
down syndrome midget
Celebrities also get a look in:
Bjork eating own cardigan
cher lloyd ugly face
winona ryder and the penis
and old JC:
jesus reborn hitler
chocolate jesus and vienna
So, this goes out to you, freaks of the interweb: yes I’m talking to you guilty as sin security guard with the beer bellies and beards calendar . Whatever your kink, you can find it in my blog.