Procrastination for the Nation


Jan 18th

I have had a nice day today. Don’t look so shocked!

This morning I woke up to the sound of a cuckoo (I bought Esther a clock that plays different bird sounds every hour. It was more for me really.)

I put my trousers on, had a cup of tea, and thought about leaving the house.

"I was too big for your letterbox"

Today was going to be a productive day. I walked up to the post depot to collect my LADY GAGA graphic novel.

On the way up, it was sunny and crisp. Ahead of me was one of those girls who only wears leggings with no thought to her ass. I couldn’t help but note how her ass wiggled, and I thought “Where do they learn that? Finishing school for the sexually precocious?” Instead of a book on their head, I imagine an exercise involving opening doors with your buttocks.

I wish I could walk like that.

Anyway, picked up Lady G and treated myself to a trip round the Co-Op. I always go to Tescos you see, so it makes a refreshing change to go round a different massive generic chain store. I stood contemplating in front of the reduced section. Normally in Tesco, you have to fight for a good view. Sometimes when one of the staff is there with *gasp* a sticker gun and a pile of food- then the crowd becomes a scrum and the scrum becomes a mosh pit.

"80p? Let me at the all day breakfast sandwiches!"

But here in early morning Co-Op, I was completely on my own. I could take my time, and I did. ‘Hmm what nearly-off stodge would I like today?’ I mused with pleasure.

I chose an American style baked cheesecake and two pairs of muffins (lemon meringue and double chocolate).

I knew I was going to be at home all day, so I wanted to stock up. I get panicky otherwise.

I walked home, past the place that has fish-that-eat-your-feet-skin. A potential birthday present, Esther assures me.

Once home, made a cup of tea and set to work. After about 20 mins I started to feel hungry and rang Esther who was putting makeup on in the next room.

“Do you want elevensies, darling?” I ask

"I hear he's not even started work yet, and it's 12 already!" "Tsk!"

“I’ve just eaten a sugar mouse” she groans. “But I’ll have a cup of tea”.

I sit next to her and eat a lemon meringue muffin with my tea. Right, back to work.

An hour later, I feel hungry. Esther comes back from her CBT and it’s time for lunch.

I forgot to get any savoury food in the supermarket, so I have to eat the 3 mini pepperamis left in the fridge.

Back to work. I manage to get about 15 mins of solid work done, then my brain wanders.

“Hmm are there any interesting birds in the back garden? No. I wonder what everyone is doing out there in the world? Oh I can’t see anybody. I wonder how my coursemates are getting on with this work. Best not ask just in case.”

I start to feel sleepy, with the afternoon lull I always get around 3pm. I run downstairs and scoff some chocolate to wake me up.

Some more work.

Then Esther comes back and it’s time for afternoon tea.

I’m not sure what happened after that. Lots of cups if tea, staring at the computer screen, and washing up I think.

"I'm parched for a cuppa, it's been 30 whole minutes since the last one!"

I’ve got to work tomorrow. I wish every day was like today. Oh well.