Lisa has requested that she no longer features in this blog. “Well stop doing stupid things then” I reply under my breath.
The other day she agreed to walk the dogs on her own. He put their leads on, got them ready then opened the door. “Ok you fuckers, which fucking park do you want to go to this time?”
She looked around and there was a man getting his shopping out of the car who had stopped mid trip to glare at Lisa with a look of outrage. From his angle, he had just witnessed Lisa winning worst mum of the year hands down. Lisa quickly dragged the dogs into view, and the man disappeared into his house.
Esther wants to give my hair a trim. We get the trimmers out and she starts at the back. After 2 minutes I hear “Oh shit!”. “What the fuck have you done?” I ask. “It went a lot shorter than I meant it too. I’m going to have to do the rest of it like that”.
So, 20 mins later, I am now the poster boy for gay men in the military. I have a short back and sides with a little quiffy bit on top. Think Jedward channelling Tintin. I think my beard is actually longer than my hair. Great time of year for it.
To Be Continued…