Boring and Ugly Part 2

29th Oct
Me “Do you find the smell of your bits comforting?”
Girlf “No, and I find that statement very uncomforting!”

Ding a Ling a Ling!


30th Oct
Lisa has been overacting about being bed ridden for several days. She says while covering her spots, that it “is like putting makeup on a dead person”.
Dom is grumpy. He thinks Lisa is angry with him. “Are you mardy because you’ve had me at your beck and call for 3 days and now I’m going out?!”
Lisa: “Ding a ling-a-ling!” (she mimes ringing a servant bell)
Dom makes a growling spaz noise that builds to a crescendo as he gesticulates rudely at her face.
L “we fell in love once…!”
Dom “Yeah wasn’t that like 2 years ago??”

10th Nov
Lisa and Dom got drunk last night. After dancing to drum n bass, Lisa started sobbing “My gran is wasting her confidence, she’s going to die and take it with her, bastard! I want it!”. Dom looked on in amusement.

15th Nov
On the way back from Tesco we started to make up a rap about Devo. It went a little something like this:

Coz I’m a whippet
I’m so fast
Could catch a meadow pipit
Coz I’m a whippet
And if you leave your beer alone
I will sip it
Coz I’m a whippet
Don’t be leaving your food

I is a whippet

Or I will tip it
Coz I’m a whippet
Better hide yer nose
Coz I wanna nip it

Here’s my 2 line rap haiku from this morning:

If I was a mushroom
I’d be the shitake
If I was a bomb
I’d go down in Nagasaki


To Be Continued…

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